Stop with the whining, will you? (We’re learning together)

Whining has become a real problem in my house. Fingernails on chalkboard – it just immediately sends me over the edge.

I do the whole ‘I can’t understand you when you talk in that voice’ thing until it stops. I’m trying to teach my kids to ask for what they want in a big girl voice.

It’s funny though because the other night my husband and I had a date night in. We have some big decisions to make that are looming ahead and we just needed to have a conversation without being interrupted every other sentence.

We spent some time talking about my business and the time I’m able to spend working. Like most mamas I know, I spend the majority of my day entertaining, cleaning up at least 5 discarded outfits and princess dresses, making buildings out of blocks, painting, reading, and making sure nobody ends up standing on top of the dining room table while I walk away for 5 mintues and try to make dinner. Yes, that really happened last week.

My kids don’t really tolerate any working time during the day. Jaclyn is in love with banging as hard as she can on my keyboard. And I have a very hard time saying ‘not right now’ and ‘give me 5 more minutes’ to Brooke who begs me to play with her.

By the time my husband walks in the door, I’m usually frazzled and at the end of my rope, but my guilt kicks in and I swallow my frustration, do bath time, bed time and then fall down exhausted.

So – as we talked – he said this to me: Stop working inside the contraints you’ve created for yourself and ask for what you need.

Bam. Nothing like a good ol’ dish of truth served in the dining room.

When I digested what he’d said and agreed to use Saturday mornings as a few more hours to work on my business or get my haircut or go to a yoga class, a weight really lifted for me.

Enough with the guilt anyway. Guilt is really a self-created way to stay stuck.

Our new house rule – established by order of the management is this: No whining (outloud or inside). Just ask for what you need.

So now this will be a little signal to me to listen to myself. When I start internally whining, it’s time to use my big girl voice and ask for what I need in that moment.

Simple really, but funny how my kids and I are both trying to learn the same thing at the same time.

 

This entry was posted in 2 yr old, designing your life, Moms, parenting, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

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